Hi, this is Twila. I have the secret password to Cec’s blog, and I thought it was time for me to jump in and share a few writing tips I’ve learned from working with our lovable curmudgeon. (I didn’t get his okay first, but it’s too late now.)
Five important lessons:
1) There shall be none of this business about rolling your eyes or dropping your jaw. “That’s so cliché,” Cec says. Manicured lawns are just as bad. That makes my husband very happy.
2) It’s improper to say, “I sold OVER five million books.” It should be “MORE THAN five million books.” Hey, if I’m selling that many books, does it really matter?
3) Starting sentences with words like hopefully is not a good thing. I can’t remember why, but hopefully I’ll never do it again.
4) For some reason Cec thinks “feel free” is cliché too and said “tsk tsk” in my presence. “Do you know how hard it is to come up with another way of saying feel free?” I said. He responded by rolling his eyes.
5) It’s always a good idea to have someone else proofread your work. That way you won’t submit something that reads like this: Hapy 77th Burthday to yew, Mr. Cecil Murphey! The world is a better place because you are here!!!!!!! (Oops, there's another lesson. The use of excessive exclamation points is a definite no-no.)
Hopefully, Cec won’t get too mad that I’ve posted this. He’s told me over five million times to mind my own business, but sometimes I just can’t help myself. Please feel free to send him warm birthday wishes—just don’t tell him how you found out. I’m sure he’ll drop his jaw at all the attention.
“I’m so glad I have job security,” Twila said. “The curmudgeon can’t fire me because he can’t live without me.” With that she giggled and went about her work, which, by the way, is enough to keep her busy for the next ten years.