Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Common Problems (Part 38 of 50)

Avoid the disembodied eye. Use words such as gaze or stare.

* His clear amber eyes soberly sought out and met her blue ones. [Their eyes didn't move out of their bodies.]

* His eyes traveled down to his shoes.

* His eyes returned to the altar while his ears listened to the words.

Readers will understand your meaning, but if you take the words literally, the sentences are ludicrous. 

Rather than taking the eyes from the body, 
use words that describe the eyes' action 
such as stare, gaze, watch, look, or gawk.

3 comments:

  1. I always enjoy it when a part of the body becomes disconnected and goes traveling through no fault of the reader.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL, adds new meaning to a roving eye :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great! I like your blog and love my google translator ;-)

    ReplyDelete

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