Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Common Problems (Part 23 of 50)

Who speaks is usually less important than what the person says, especially if there are only two people present. 
  • Paps began. “At the beginning of time, when the Great One created all that. . ."
  • Rose asked, "Why are you here?"
Neither of the above is wrong, but it would be better to place the emphasis on what the speaker says by putting the quote first. We often don't need to designate the speaker each time. Once we know that two people are involved, we could add beats instead of speaker's names. Or, as you see below, we know the identity of the second speaker.
      Suppose Hubert comes to Rose's door.
      "Why are you here?" Rose asked.
      "I've missed you," Hubert said. "Every day."
      "You expect me to believe that?" She started to close the door.
      "Just listen to me. Please."

When I write dialog, I ask myself,
"What is the most important to emphasize?"
* * * * *
Cec's new book, Unleash the Writer Within, is now available.

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