Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Common Problems (Part 36 of 50)

Stay in one POV for an entire scene. Although I discussed POV previously, I continue to see what we call head hopping within a scene.

* . . . There were times when Gregory doubted what the agency told him. [Gregory's POV]. Same scene, two paragraphs later: The ship bellowed out a demand to board. To Lana and Gregory, its urgent appeal went unheard. [The writer slipped into third person universal POV].

* This is in Stan's POV: Stan watched Nick approach, trying to whisper. (How does Stan know Nick tries?)

* Ellen watched Drew move aimlessly through the crowd, searching for a kind face. (How does she know Drew is aimless? How does she know what he searches for? Even if he had told her, that may not have been true.) 

Decide on one point of view 
and stay with it for the entire scene.

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